There is a text meme circulating at the moment that caught me right in the chest: “There is something particularly cruel about criticising the way someone swims while they are drowning.” It struck a chord because of a recent phone call where I found myself apologising for speaking about my own lived experience. I […]
Apologising While Drowning: Minority Stress, RSD, and The Tone Police Read Post »
What if your life ended at midlife but you found yourself still alive? Most of us know that writing can be therapeutic – especially someone like me, a psychotherapist who holds free weekly silent Journalling sessions due to the belief that it changes the individual’s day (ergo life). I’ve had an unusual decade. Ten years
Menopause is not the end Read Post »
When I fell in love with a woman after 25 years of marriage to a man, I felt as if someone had thrown a hand grenade into my rather well-cultivated and curated life. It certainly blew up my perception of myself. It led me to consider whether I am the sort of person who could
A hand grenade in your marriage: Mid-Life Lesbian Coming Out Read Post »
While the dangers of social media and teens, and screen time for children, are hotly debated, many of us in the midlife demographic will be reflecting inwardly, guiltily, about our own doom scrolling habits. I’ve been looking into dopamine, addiction and how to “hack” this trend for our wellbeing. In April I’m launching a 30
Screen Time – not just about the kids Read Post »
Renee Nicole Goode thought that if she was unthreatening and polite that she could handle a conversation with aggressive, armed men. Women learn from a very young age how to handle men. This varies according to their unique circumstances, but defaults are formed and embedded at a young age. I do not know of a
The thing Later-in-Life Lesbians don’t get Read Post »
People often deny their feelings. They don’t just avoid anger and grief, some avoid excitement, love, joy. This can be due to a false concept of ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ emotions. Every emotion has its purpose. We should fear them no more than a sneeze or a fart. They are just consequences of being alive. Unfortunately
Three common mistakes people make about emotions Read Post »
Do you ever find yourself saying or behaving in a way that takes you right off track from who you believe you are and want to be? As if you got in your car one morning to go somewhere beautiful and someone held a gun to your head and said, “No, drive straight to hell
CLICK ON THE PICTURE FOR MY VIDEO: “The Paradoxical Theory of Change” ..change occurs when one becomes what he is, not when he tries to become what he is not. Change does not take place through a coercive attempt by the individual or by another person to change him, but it does take place if
“If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing half assed.” (KC Davis) I quoted to my partner as we got back into the car and we laughed. All day, a day of blue skies and glorious sunshine, I had wanted to get to the sea, to lie on the beach, and maybe go into the
Worth Doing Half Assed Read Post »
Sometimes we believe that if we can make better decisions we will improve things and we forget that part of life is the muddle, the mess and the maybes. “We call this the mud season.” my friend Nancy said, when we were discussing the energy of spring. In spring we plant seeds in hope of
Mud Season: The muddle, the mess and the maybes Read Post »